The early miscarriage

I mentioned in my brief catch up blog that we had unfortunately had a miscarriage at the end of January. We had only been TTC since December and had got lucky almost immediately, as we did with Project #1. For some reason, I felt particularly anxious this time – I know I was paranoid last time, but this time I did zillions of pregnancy tests, often more than one a day, pretty much from the day I found out (at only 9dpo) until the miscarriage. All the time, the lines were getting darker, but not by much. Every day I expected them to start fading, so when I started spotting at 5+5, I was extremely worried.

By the morning of 6+0 I’d had a lot more bleeding and was sure I was miscarrying. My GP kindly managed to get me squeezed into the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit for a viability scan that afternoon, where the staff were absolutely fantastic. The nurses were reassuring, kind, but professional. Unfortunately whilst waiting for the scan, I felt like I was having labour pains, went to the toilets, and miscarried. Obviously I was devastated, and the scan confirmed no visible pregnancy, but in some ways I was relieved to at least have an answer after 3 weeks of ‘not quite right’ness.

As I was already in hospital but no pregnancy had been sighted on scan, I was diagnosed with ‘pregnancy loss of unknown location’ which put me in the ectopic risk bracket. I had my beta-HCG levels taken via blood test, which came back at 677 – way too low for the 6 weeks I should have been, so my suspicions that things were not progressing properly all along were right.

Unfortunately since then, the HCG levels have not dropped as the should have done. It’s sod’s law really – I had an embryo cooking for less than 4 weeks yet it’s already been 4 weeks and the HCG is not back to zero! I’ve had no further physical problems or symptoms, so I’m just having regular bloods now. This time, I’ve been left for a fortnight without a test, so I’m taking the odd pregnancy test in the hopes it goes negative sooner rather than later, then we can get back on the TTC wagon again!

Emotionally I think we’ve come through it all ok. The few days of not knowing and then the day it happened were the worst; since then we’ve been ok really. I’ve had moments of sadness and worry, but mostly frustration at another delay in getting our longed-for sibling for P#1. One day soon, I hope!

Long overdue update

Time flies when you’re having fun running round after an energetic toddler (although I have to say it’s great fun, too!)

Project #1 is now 15.5 months and it occurred to me it’s been longer than that since I updated this blog. The next couple of weeks will probably therefore involve lots of spamming of photos of him from the last year or so! I’ll also post my birth story, spoiler alert, we did get our amazing water homebirth.

More recently we’ve had some sad news, I unfortunately miscarried Project Attempt #2 just under 3 weeks ago. It was early days but once you see those positive pregnancy tests you can’t help but get excited so even only knowing I was pregnant for 3 weeks, it was upsetting and a shock. Luckily everything so far has been quite straightforward, other than my hcg levels being very slow to drop. I’m still having blood tests to monitor the drop, but hoping we’ll be back at base level soon so that we can get going again!